Monday, August 29, 2005
I'm loss for words.after what you've told me..
today I seems not my usual self with you around.
I don't know why,but the feeling just came by.I don't wish to
feel that way.I was rather surprised when you told me something
that gave me a shock..I really don't know why you don't felt lonely with me
around...
I really want to know am I that special that you felt for me...I hate myself for saying stuffs that I don't want to say..I hate myself..how I wish I did not let you know...I rather bottle up then to say it out and hurt someone...I don't wish to hurt anyone..I didn't mean it on purpose..I can feel the pain inside me...Tears are rolling down while I said those things to you earlier on. I couldn't really sleep..I cried myself to sleep not because I felt for you..but because I really appreciate that you felt for me and treat me well...
I'm at loss of what to do....someone encourage me to go for my happiness and asked me to give it a try....but I'm at loss.... I'm confuse.....no one can ever see my tears behind these pair of dry eyes of mine...NO one can understand how I feel.I appreciate whatever is going on with you around...Though I may feel a little awkward for now..but is only temporary....
torn
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Heh Heh I'm back from Mt.Akina...WAhahahahahhaa..Just kidding
Yeah past few days is really fun and excitement for me.
Just let me reflect back what went on for the past few days.
Yeah, friday went to play basketball with steven, su yu and David...
Played till around 6 plus.actually we wanted to go down to east coast to
see the sunset..but too bad, we missed it...haiz...well there's always next time..
hehehe....gosh! both my arms really hurt badly and I suddenly had a bad headache...
argh..the pain is really killing me like hell..then david so good hemassage both my arms and my head after leaving east coast, we went back to the underpass,i couldn't take the stairs and he decided to piggy back me till we are out of the underpass...his shoulder must be freaking pain due to his sun burnt...I feel bad..I told him no need to piggy back me then he kinda insisted...what to do??haiz....
Saturday, went to Jurong swimming complex which is similar to wild wild wet.I did not went alone someone brought me there....I didn't stayed there for long..heex..as i suddenly caught a cold then my arms are not completely ok..haiz....
AHEM! today the most fun, exciting time with my group of buddies and friends..Ling,Su Yu,Carol,Ice Man, WX, Eddie, David,steven and ME.....hehe.....Yeah today the guys are those Hunks from Initial D the movie....lolx....but so sad short of my another 2 sisters xin hui and shi yun...
David-Jay chou
Steven-Shawn Yue
Eddie-Jordan Chan
Ice man-Chapman To A.K.A Ah mu (character in INtial d)
Wei Xiang-Edison chen
Yeah, the best time while riding go kart is all 6 of us, ling, ice man, david, su yu,steven,su yu were riding and competing at the same time..heh heh...had a great time driving like a mad driver...guess what?? the surprising thing was I did Initial D stunt the stunt also known as ''piao yi''.. most of my friends notice....and some clapped if i'm not wrong..for those who watched the movie should know..what is that stunt like..steven and david did that too..while waiting for our turn, david sang a little portion of piao yi then followed by me....really damn fun...Played the rainbow ride twice, pepsi twist..haha.....and many other games...The best time was playing go kart..while on the beginner track i'm wx's passenger, ling is ice man's passenger and carol and eddie sat together..so fun!
Thanks everyone for today...next time we shall go to night safari or wild wild wet when there's a promotion...deal??tomorrow I'm going back to school..no more playing a fool..
torn
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Yesterday went out with Steven,Su Yu and David to play basketball...heex..
It has been ages that I've never play basketball.We went to Bedok to play..played till bout 7 something.Then went to Bedok Macdonalds sit down,while Su Yu and Steven had their meal.. we reached East Coast at about 8 something....Gosh! when I reached East coast, my mother called I can't tell her I at East Coast else she'll KPKB like hell...Then she asked alot of questions,kpkb like hell...argh....fed up argh...then we went to one part of east coast where there are lots of stars in the sky.....so nice..Then David and I went nuts always tickling and poking each other..other than that, he always pushed my head..
We chatted, talk cock, talked about serious stuffs...mostly talked bout our own family and lifestyle at home...haiz.....yeah, the 3 of them gave me suggestions on what to do..thank goodness my mum did not interrogate me while I was sleeping.she did that in the past..then Joel and his friend came to find me..I should have jokingly tell him when he asked where am I...I could have say Geylang, Hotel 81.....wahahahahah with a group of friends in one hotel room watching soccer...wahahahahaha. Chatted with David alot of stuffs..he even asked me stuffs bout my past r/s..then he still tickle,poke and pushed my head
yeah. got home at about 2330hrs.Mother reached home long time ago ..she was there bugging and yakking non stoop askiing who am I out with and she assumed that I was lying when I said I went to play basketball as I wore slippers....wahtever...believe or not....not my business..then keep on saying I got boyfriend.... whatever..have then have....Think I what?? play girl ar.. play girl then play girl loh...fine...anyway already give some old bitch labelled me a prostitue already what.....argh...she's there barking saying that I'm out at night almost everyday..pls...where got everyday.????not everyday say everyday..what the hell?? Even if got boyfriend so what?? nothing wrong..I told her I got one soulmate is wei xiang and another one is girl..then I asked can...girl and boy my soulmate ma..she say cannot must choose one..I become lesbian or bisexual my problem....haha
Steven reached home then called me...then asked me where's my boyfriend David....liew...what is this?? must every guy I get along with will become my boyfriend or will fall for me?? he very funny..haha... then I jokingly say..''ya my boyfriend went off le'' David when you get to read this don't misunderstood me that I like you or what...then steven say he and I can get along....yeah, ok only lah..haha... had a great time coming to east coast with friends and talking crap..haha
torn
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
haha.I'm back from nowhere...lolx..Yeah, yesterday went out to catch a movie 'The Maid' with San Mao.then after movie we went to grab a bite and I reached tampines at about 5 something then Ling messaged me asking me whether I'm free...she's rather bored at home.OK, no problem so we came out and have something and gossip.Before that. I went to find WX as he's working at Metro, Tampines.we chatted for quite a while then it was dinner time, so WX and I went to TM food court and he had his dinner..We chatted and chatted..hehe..
Then Ling reached Century square, Old chung kee, I immediately ran down to find her then before that she went to Metro as she wanted to disturb WX..then we went to take neorint as it has been such a long time that I did not took neoprint...haha..Haiz...we talked alot of things bout people relating to us not talking bad about them and I also told her about someone trying to chase me.....really I'm not kidding.yesterday that someone asked me whether want to go steady anot....what is this?haizz...well, I still prefer my current status :single but not available..heex...and also need time for myself too....
Last night WX called and we chatted then he was there saying me.he said that I came my period and still dare to drink cold drink...he said in mandrin :'' ni lai xx hai gan gei wo he leng shui ni yao si ar??'' lolx.I was shocked that he remembered that I'm having my period..then I also said him that he just recovered and still ate beef noodles some more that bowl of beef noodles is kinda oily..haiz..Then talked alot about other stuffs...WX, thanks for yr concern I know what to do after yesterday's situation..
Haha, later evening I going to meet Ling, Carol, Su Yu, Steve to catch a movie...heex...
torn
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Yesterday was my dad's brithday today is my mum's birthday..Yeah, yesterday went all the way to Jurong East to get my MP3 settle as something went wrong.goodness! they did a qucik job.Yeah yesterday Steven called me so we chatted..Well, 2 days ago I was rather freaking pissed off with my mum as she is there bugging/barking/nagging/kpkb.Well, that is onot so bad for me I still can be able to bear it.What was the thing I got fed up with is she passed those rude remarks.This is how it happens, an american restaurant @ clarke quay wants to hire girls, $9 per hour.But too bad I can't go for the job as I'm under 18.When I say more money to make in mandrin she just passed me a very insulting remark saying ''you can go be prostitue'' just because I say alot of money...you may not believe that she said that but I swear, I did not lie.she really said that to me verbally.
Then again on the same day she asked me to take some cough syrup and she was there nagging/kpkb saying''you everytime eat chicken, might as well go be chicken(in mandrin)''knn..what the hell??I scolded her like mad till she got nothing much to say and asked her to stop saying me hmmm count herself lucky this time.cos if she say this kind of remark to others people can sue her......Then she just say to me ''not I say, people say'' what is this??? People say you must follow??? what on earth is going on??? Then say I gossip with people and I not a counsellor shouldn't listen to people's problems.well, is not I kpo is I as a friend of anyone willing to lend a listening ear.Well, friends when you get to read this I hope that you all won't stop talking to me about anything...I will always lend you guys my ears and keep your secrets safe.Hmm..I'm not sure why she say that maybe out of anger.but that doesn't seems to be out of anger
I would want to go for a blood test as I don't know what is my blood group.dad says I'm A, mum says I'm B...I really don't know which group am I...I want to find out...I told my dad about what happen..he says he want to slap her if she ever say that insulting remark to me...but I don't want any violence to go on.I don't want to give anybody trouble and a hard time settling these kind of nonsense.Sometimes I wonder whether am I her real child...well, god knows and my dad saw me when she was in labour pain..Yeah, even steven say this''how can say like that??own daughter leh''..argh..I want to say this one more time
''I WANT MY OWN LIFE, WITH NO INTEEFERENCE,NO MORE SCREWING UP IN WHATEVER I DO..IT'S MY OWN LIFE, I KNOW WHAT IS RIGHT AND WRONG, WHO SHOULD I MIX WITH''... argh..I think I'm gong crazy...help me....else I'll be send to woodbridge chalet in a few years time if this goes on....How I wish I can turn 18 or 21 right now..well, next year I'll turn 18.only 1 more year to go.No big deal....So what??if i treat my own house as a hotel...if you don't like me here the door is always there and I can leave.Well, good news my dad did not went to court to appeal the change of my maintenance fee.last time was 600bucks but my dad wanted to appeal and change to 400 bucks.but in the end he didn't because I'm still studying..all I want is to have a good life, future.Once I have that, I guess someone have nothing to say.already...But there are things I'm still quite satisfied and happy in life, good buddies, good school, good life because I''m able to enjoy in life like any rich people on earth,good class, good teachers....heex
yeah, yesterday got home at about 11 plus then chatted with WX on the phone, then after chatting with him, I called San Mao..hmm...yesterday took a cab home then my working friend Leslie say he at tampines coffee bean, thought of want to asked the driver to let me alight near the coffee bean area but I did not request.as my dad is around not because I scared to tell him why.So end up didn''t asked the driver to alight me there.This guy ah....really like to play joke/ disturb me..haiz...then gave me a nick name called xiao zhu(little pig)..haiz..then I called him stupid pig if not stupid pig, I'll call him monkey..heex..yeah only 2 years older than me.but can get along...I'm not implying anything...
torn
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Heex..I'm so happy.I got promoted for TKD.Now my rank is yellow belt..hurray!! but didn't get double..is ok as I did pass my grading I'm happy like crazy...wahahhaa...yeah.just wanna say a few words to some people who are close to me..
Carol: I'm sorry about today I shouldn't have mention him infront of you.I didn't mean it.Until Su Yu told me what exactly happen...I hope you don't blame me and don't think too much ok?? cheer up girl..be positive...We're always here for you
WX:Don't blame yourself for being in my life all this while.i'm really thankful to have you as another close friend just like the r/s between me and brother Kun.I'm really thankful that you're always here for me as a friend.You did helped me alot when I was rather down.Though you reminded me of him, is alright because you gave me good memories not bad ones...I don't wish to lose a very special friend like you...Promise me, you won't blame yourself for anything...ya...
Haha next grading will be up in October...hehe....green tip.....hahah..I'm dying to get promoted again......wish me luck...good luck to all my TKD friends for their next grading
torn
Monday, August 15, 2005
I'm back from nowhere..yeah just wanna say thanks to all my friends for their concern..I'm alright now.feeling better, much cheerful.I make sure you guys will get to meet the cheerful me again...yeah last saturday went to watched a movie Mob sister.Yeah, goodness the movie ''The Maid is shown in most theatres at midnight.what the hell? Hopefully we will have an earlier time slot so we can go and watch.I would like to ask Ling,Xin Xin, Su Yu, Shi Yun, Carol, WX, ice man and probably some others...This friday will be my dad's birthday and saturday will be my mum's birthday.
Time flies and I be back in school in about 2 weeks time.missed my school and some of my buddies very much.well, after all is a good time for me to have friends and buddies from the same class, same school, different course,same course to be there for each other.I'm really happy and thank god for puting me into this campus.......and also wanna thank the people around me for being there...
torn
Friday, August 12, 2005
I'm back from my chalet.Woooo hooo....Actually I was suppose to stay over on the first night but in the end I went over to my dad's place to stay over.Yeah on the first day went out of the chalet with Ling, WX, Steven and later su yu came to join us.Gosh! su yu came over to listen to stories then liew down on the marble seat...The breeze is really nice...then thazt WX lied down on my lap...Think he kinda lied down there for don't know how long.after he lied down on my lap, i lied down on his...hee....we took turns...
Then yesterday, I got drunk after drinking a few rounds of vodka....At first I felt numb and burning inside my body then I lied down.then I couldn't really remember how did the others help me and realised that something was not right with me.I could only remembered that a few friends helped me massage my hand as I felt numb and some gave me warm water to drink.Other than that, I was crying.crying kinda bitterly.then the others told me not to cry.haiz...Well, that Ah Long so funny thought I got possess...gosh!haiz....then WX lend me his shoulder to cry on....I think I did scared him.....so sorry WX, I didn't mean to scare you...whenever my eyes tend to close the others slapped me, I was being carried to the toilet.and I came out wet.they just want me to be awake.Ah Long realised osmething was not right in this chalet unit we're occupying.I wasn't the only one who got drunk.even Erni.Then Ah Long wanted us to leave the chalet and headed to Mcdonalds.Erni and some others took a cab.I even got the chance to took a cab..Ah Long and WX took turns to carry me.gosh! my bones are real heavy.then when we reach Mcdonalds I'm still feeling kinda dizzy,cold.then after a while I knocked off...same as Erni.I couldn't remember how long I slept.Then when I woke up, I realised I was left with WX and Erni, I tried to get up and walked but I was shivering.so I went back to take a seat and slept.WX lend me his shoulders to lie on other than that, he kinda hgged me as I was feeling cold and shivering.but couldn't really get to sleep so we went to the Mcdonalds playground then I was there lying down on his leg. We reached our chalet units at around 3 plus in the morning.Yeah. after yesterday I guess I'm much better after drinking and crying out...
I wanna say thanks to my friends and buddies for helping me and Erni.It must be hard on you guys......Really thanks alot.especially to my buddies su yu, shi yun, carol. and some others like WX, Ice man and many others....
torn
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Haiz....almost done with my report, presentation..woo hoo...
heh heh..later I'll be staying over at Costa sand chalet at east coast.
Hmm....on monday went back to my secondary school with my secondary school buddy.I really missed my school so I suggested to go back to school. then after going back to our school, we went to macdonalds to have breakfast, gossip.Then quickly went back home done my stuffs and quickly rush out and go back to campus to help up in the stall as Su yu is rushing for time ...Monday was Vincent's birthday just wanna wish him a happy 15th birthday..haha. Today got to know another friend...haiz...so many friends to make..I guess making friends will never end...haha...well, my new friend see me home...hmm..ok, haha....after I had my shower I got ready to go out and meet brother Kun.The last time I saw him was in april...yeah, we got alot to talk about.Then he send me home by giving me a lift on his bike...gosh! I cut my leg.While I was standing behind...haiz...these few days got hurt..Then went to marina bay for some carnival. with my mum and aunt...Then at marina bay MRT control station, I saw a mediacorp artise Nick Shen...
Yesterday went to Wild Wild Wet with my mum, a few of my mum's friends and their kids...Had a great time, this is my second time at Wild Wild wet....well, I eventually got sun burn but I'm feeling itchy...Had a great time,hopefully, I'll be able to go again......This week is a rather enjoying week for me to enjoy life...hahaha
torn
Sunday, August 07, 2005
hmm...yesterday went for some church gathering.Before that, I had
tuition in the morning.then I went to downtown to check out whether wild wild wet will be open on the national day...yeah.they'll be open...I maybe going to wild wild wet this tuesday.IF anyone would want to go, just let me know, we'll be going tin the morning so that you guys can play for a long long time till you feel like going home..haha..yeah, back to yesterday..After went back to tampines,I went to eat KFC then went down to cottage pie to chat with Jeslene mei for a while..then went to Metro to pay su yu money for the chalet.Then went home, done some stuffs and went to sleep then got ready to go out..Yesterday we were suppose to be in skirt.dresses for the ladies,they guys were really wow! wear until so formal....While I was on the way to catch a train someone stepped on my high heel slipper and the strap snapped off...then I went out to get something done...actually I wanted to buy a new shoe.but in the end I never, luckily there's a cobbler so I got him to mend it.and I paid 2 bucks for his service...While I got there, hmm..everyonw look wonderful, gorgeous...and guess what? I ran into my 4th ex boyfriend...I was feeling rather queasy/awkward but remained calm...and he even kinda host me for yesterday dinner..I didn't even think about him..till yesterday the last time I saw him was the day I broke up with him.that was a couple of months ago... we did chatted abit...he even asked whether am I attach now..I said no....well, for that whole night I was really not myself and felt uneasy...no one knows that he and i were an item once, only Jasmine and her friend know about this...
Gosh! i called a few people to talk....I called my god brother, san mao and WX....
then when I got home, San Mao called me and we chatted gosh! he;s busy joking with me and kinda make my hair stand..gosh! what the hell???then chatted with WX on MSN.TOday went to downtown east with Ling, Ice man and Xin Xin...we went to escape themepark...hmm....The last time I went to the theme park was 3 years ago...but I went to theme parks in overseas...heex...Today, there were some new stuffs. ride, games...we did played...the game we played was haunted house..is a maze....gosh! is kinda scary and voices telling you to move......Ling, Ice man, Xin Xin and I stick together.....I didn't even dare to take a good look at the surroundings...I was looking on the floor...we nearly fell while finding our way out..Yeah, Gosh! what rotten luck I have....I can feel that something/someone in that haunted house touched my ass! Xin Xin and Ling felt that something touched their hand...we played a few games at least twice or more...the games were wet and wild, pirate ship, go kart, indoor roller coaster, ''rock and roll''( a new ride)...Gosh!we played go kart at least 3 times or more..haha...while playing go kart it reminds me of initial D..heex....Xin Xin and I were crazy about go kart and was addicted....while ling and Ice man went to play the indoor roller coaster again, xin xin and I ran to played go kart(advance)..woooooooooo hooooooooooo...weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....I was feeling high, crazy while playing go kart..as if I'm filming Initial D...wahaaaaahaaaaaaahhahahhaha......but too bad....there I never see any AE 86 car( that car drove by jay chou in intial d the movie) or even edison or shuan's car....hahahahah....what the #@*^%?????while my last ride on go cart some one bumped into my car and I hit my head...I hope my head will not be hurt so badly....wooo hoo...don't feel like going home feel like wanna ride some more go kart..wahahhahahaa....drive like crazy..it is good if you guys can come to themepark when you're feeling down..then go and drive go kart, go a few rounds till you're satisfied.hahahaha..
I love go kart, INtial D rocks!.....i'm really loving it and crazy bout drving and be involve in car racing in future or even motorbike racing...lolx..then today ran into Jun JIe my TKD classmate..he was with his group of friends and he went for a go kart ride at east twice or more.then ran into him at haunted house....I was rather surprised to bumped into him....wahhahahahahahahhahahaa.....today wet and wild I got wet, even sat on bumper boat and got wet...hahaa....first ride for wet n wild xin xin got wet, second ride ice and me got wet..i was wet like hell...the worse problem is my t-shirt was stained with my hair dye....my hair colour is magenta and the stain is purple in colour..gosh!...argh....today had a great time, then I told my dad I played till crazy..wahahhahahaa....I wanna sleep in thempark then I can ride on go karts and improve on my speed..hehehe.after our thempark fun, we went to white sands to have our dinner... then ling and I took bus 15 back to tampines. ice man and xin xin took the train down to bedok. while on the bus till I reached home, my head was feeling a little painful...argh..hope it will be better thanks to that someone who bumped me and my head got knock.... yeah, tomorrow, i'll be going back to shss with Li ting then after going back to shss, we'l be having lunch, gossip then I'll be heading back to campus to help out in entre stuffs...
torn
Saturday, August 06, 2005
HELL hElL hElL..HELL Helll....argh....
don't know what is wrong with me....hmm...
just now was a little freaking pissed off with my
mum bout the chalet thingy.She doesn't want me to
stay over..too bad...if she doesn't give me stay over,I'll
insist to stay over..
Yeah, after that, talk and talk then slowly she like got nothing to
say already...I'm that kind of person.If good,nice things I can't get.
I'll fight all the way and insist to get what I want.good nice things like.
going for camp, parties.chalet night out...that is all the nice things I'll fight for..*evil laugh* hmmm....don't know why these few days kinda screwed up at work..if this ever happens I'll lose my job..NO way! don't want anymore bad luck......eee...no bad luck......then .....Hmm...I don't want people to decide for me.....
Why WHY WHY you tell me why??mother last time give me go so much camp, overseas trip....then now cannot give me go this thing....whatever! all I want is to have my OWN life...get a good future.....
I want my own life....I want some peace..
.
torn
Thursday, August 04, 2005
my new hair colour...magenta....i like it..done on sunday
torn
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Hahaha..today I don't need to go to work. cos my boss give me
off day..hahaha.....so good! then tonight I can go for Tae Kwan Do
training then I can pass those stuffs to Edmel, Eddie,Elson....
Yesterday very funny, my dad came over to my workplace and tried those goody stuffs...someone was serving him and i was busy doing other stuffs....then he kept looking at what I was doing....gosh! so my collegue went to serve him his meal.....then he kept looking at my dad so I asked him, what is he looking at? he said ''that man outside '' so I asked if there's any problem...gosh! he mistaken my dad as someone weird...wahaha..at first I didn't told him that was my dad who was busy looking at what I was doing.Then later after he told me his side of the story then I told him..he was shocked and asked why I didn't tell him earlier...haha..I told my mum bout this..and she had a good laugh..
Yeah, the chalet is already confirm...hurray! I can't wait, I'm dying...I try to get lotsa beer/vodka.....weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
torn
Monday, August 01, 2005
Today's my first day at work...Hmm...quite ok..heex...
Before, I went to work, went back to school to look for Ms
Teo...then I had my breakfast then I left...I started work at 12 noon
and end at 22hrs.Is a full shift duty for me..wahahah....but is ok
though the time may pass very slow...Hmm....I'm only involve in certain
areas....washing dishes, taking orders and serving.
Yesterday Su Yu came to my place to have her hair done....then yesterday just changed my hair colour....now my whole head is filled with dark colour, almost black but my another colour is magenta....woo.....then went swimming, gosh! my swimming cap was stained with the dye.....even my towel..hahaha....but that magenta colour fade real fast...as i was bathing, the bubbles were purple in colour...the purple is lavender purple.....I'll be working from monday to friday. on weekends are my off day...weeeeeeeeeeeee.....
torn