SO FeD up, so Fed up.. Hate 4 evrything that has happen.. what the f*** is going on? argh... feel like wanna kill that jerk... argh.. I think I'm going crazy now cos of some MF.. not any ordinary MF.. but someone I know for some time..argh.. what is this going on.? all the denial, lies, betraying, maligning, humilating, insulting where is the love in this world.. No wonder I very stress up since last month till now..
When can I wake up and tell myself if this r/s is hopeless, I should give up and I should say that that jerk has been lying and I can't see that, I'm blind and stupid. What the hell am I waiting and thinking. always day dreaming, forcing myself to do the things I don't like..
Someone so close to me, yet did something which I hate the most.. Argh... I'm going crazy soon.. Yeah, the stuffs happened like this: today he said he not happy with what I wrote on my blog. but this is my freedom to blog and say whatever I want. Is my own blog, own mouth.. Then when he suddenly talked about last wednesday, I felt something is wrong cos IF i did remember correctly I didn't metioned about last wednesday thingy on my noraml blog. So I questioned him asking did he go through my personal blog, he said he never, then at night, he said sorry to me and confessed that he did? why the hell u wanna confess at this time? why must you lie in the first place. Then I questioned him again, then he say he go through my personal blog is the only way to know what am I thinking.
OK, earlier on, he did told me off bout stuffs, asking me what am is he to me? how dare he, still dare to ask this question I should be the one asking it... Then I say this : " I write whatever I wan is my business ma, I never slander can alreadylo. U leh? still dare to ask wad u r to me I supppose to ask that question de leh, sum people r like theif, steal things liao den blame ppl, give excuses or even try to er ren xian gao zhuang. wad a baddie?"
er ren xian gao zhuang means, for example , I did something bad to someone, then I complained to his /her family about he/she doing something bad. this is call er ren xian gao zhuang. Some peole really mei jiao yang( ill bred).. argh.. waste my time and youth on people not worth it.. forget it lah, all I cAn do is just take it as he not my bf liao. argh.. now very confused lah... don't wanna think too much, he is getting on my nerves...
ya, you inexpereince then people ti liang you, symphatise you, side you etc etc.. then now, waht Peoplle asked me not to break your heart. You can act very well hor? then NOw, those who know me may think I'm a bitch, wicked woman lah. you good! know how to act, act unitl so real. Ling said the right thing you ar.. like report king.. do things must report to you. I tell my xing li de hua why I don't wanna go certain places with you like clubbing, is becaused I don't want to be framed for taking drugs, don't want my drink to be spike by someone then end up don't know what happen. But better to be safe than sorry. I know oyu are naive an innocent, but who knows what are you up to? very hard to say. NOw good and bad guys very hard to tell.. My mum said the right thing, don't waste my time on people not worth it..
I still got a long way to go in life, those I might be a loser in love life.. so? big deal? I also don't know why I'm bewitch by you, I'm so stupid.. Is time I should wake up.. argh.. don't wanna let this tupid idoitic thing affect my life, without you also won't die.. the most, I can find better guys out there is whether I want anot only. I'm tired I need a break.
torn
!I WANT
More Money change my hair colour
Have a height of AT LEAST 165 and above
Keep my hair much longer like last time
GO korea/taiwan/europe/USA
Maybe get new MP3 player .Wang zi bian qing wa Idol drama VCD
Get TKD black belt New shoes
get much darker
have a good future Adidas Windbreaker Get a job
BUy another month supply of coloured contact lense
A hanbok(korean costume)& yukata(kimono)
buy flower power new tops have a wonderful 18th birthday
get into poly
