Saturday, May 27, 2006
hmm. Heaven is still fair to me bah at least got good guys around not alot lah, but at least 1 or 2 only. but the problem is I'm still confused who I like more leh.yeap, Fishy said the right thing bah, cos, I don't wanna go into another r/s that fast, I need a break, if I don't have a long break, I will break down and go crazy. Then for Eddie he tagged my board and told me what to do lo, if I think his point of view is correct. hmm. maybe Im still afarid of my past bah, then my past still somehow haunts me bah not everyday but once in a long while it'll kinda haunt me by putting those irritating stuffs in my dreams lo. whatever it is lah, IF i gave up on someone like that, then I don't in the end blame heaven that I never get those good guys. Is me who is stupid, choosy lo. Is my loss lo..
Then talking back about how those things grow in my body that I gotta go for an operation, hmm.. I named out those things caused.
i) my diet
ii) my own problems like stress, not sharing out anything
iii) technology, environment
Then when touched on the psychological part, me and my mum had a tiff, she said that I feel with hatred for my parents etc etc, I admit last time I hate, I yuan. but now, I don't whatever it is it is already in the past, I learn to let go, learn to forgive and forget. Yet my mum still claim that whatever thing it is is forever there, example when I hate about last time or what, means I hate it last time but now I don't.
SHe insisted about other things, she is wronged about me yet she don't admit.. argh.. then she say maybe I quarrel with friends or what. but I from don't know when until now, never quarrel with my good friends liao leh.. only small misunderstandings then after a while apologise, then talk about what happen then ok le, like that only. The reason why I don't like to share with her my things is because last time,whenever she not in the good mood, or what, then Iwanna open my mouth and tlak she'll say I tlak back. what is this? that's why I don't like to tlak to her till now.
Facing four walls and a celling at home sucks she say that my sentence facing 4 walls and a celling means I bear grudges, full of hatred. WHat for? hate takes alot of energy
Here is a story being told by my school teacher when I was in secondary school, I think it might be familiar with some of you people.
A teacher told her students to gather potatoes, the teacher told the students to bring the potatoes everywhere they go, The next day, the students gather back at school for lessons, some had 1 to2 potatoes and the other students had at least more than 5 potatoes, indeed the students followed their teacher's instructions by carrying the potatoes everywhere they go, the students did this for quite a few days, slowly, the potatoes, starting to smell bad, rot.
Those who had at least more than 5 potatoes, started to complained even more, saying that the bag of potatoes they carreid are heavy, while the other students who had less than 5 potatoes started to find it a hassle to carry the potatoes eveywhere they go, it seems inconvenient. SO the students gave those feedback to their teacher, the teacher listened carefully and asked them. " do you know why I asked you guys to gather those potatoes and carry them with you everywhere you go?" the students had no idea why, so the teacher told them " this is beacuse the number of potaotes you had means the number of person you hate, hate takes alot of energy, it is like carrying heavy stuffs you need alot of strength to carry heavy stuffs. Slowly, when you carry those potatoes aorund, slowly, itll smelled bad and start to rot, that is how when you hate someone, you are hating to the core and there will be lots of unhappy things coming in like bitterness, hard hearted and many many more."
The students listened carefully , one of the students voiced out and asked the teacher can they stop carrying the potatoes everywhere they go, the teacher told them " you can do it, provided you stop hating someone, by forgivng and forgetting what your enemy has done to you. The students did. Those who had more than 5 potatoes slowly, reduce the number of potaotes they had by throwing it away, it reduce and all the potatoes were gone. This means those students who had hatred for someone, slowly, they forgive and forget.
when the potatoes issued were settled the taeacher asked the students how they feel without the potatoes around, the students answered they feel, more relax, relieve without any trouble with those potatoes they had to bring it around.
Hmm.. am i a good story teller.. haha... k lah, talked about yesterday, I went for interview, actually wanna interviewed a few places de. but then I didn't expect one bar, willing to let me start work immediately which is next week.. haha the workplace very good, asked me which day available then can come down and work.. haha one hour 7 bucks leh.. Don't worry I'm not ppole dancer or what, down there no pole, only got pool table big plasma tv so customers can come in watched football. haha, Just a waitress there. can wear any clothes I like, no uniform, heex.. next time wanna go new place and drink, enjoy life can come my work place, the location is at far east square. The name of the place is Mama Africa.
I went back to my workplace at metro.. I missed the place very much, especially some of those people I got to know there.. heex. I took bus 969 back to tam0pines interchange, while walking to east link mall, I walked past the waiting area for bus 67 I saw some one bei ying very familiar .. Hmm.. I think is Wei x.. HAha. I wanna confirm so I went infront of him, then we chatted.. he just finished work.. i see... hmmm.. he seems much better liao la, but still like very thin leh.. haha..
about Suyu tag board thingy, this reminds me of my tag board being flooded and my gang went to tagged Iisabell's tag board plus xin xin whose tag board was flooded before.. haiz.. idoit, how dare they bully suyu.. hmm.. mouth so smelly, don't tlak so much cock lah, don't know how to zip your mouth, I help you ok? help you freshen your breath, if not one thing, I cut off your tongue see whether you dare to talked so much rubbish anot.. hmm.. bloody hell.. ling followed what I say liao. last time I say ppl puberty abnormal etc etc.. ya loh, quite true, if is a girl she watched out, careful she like me, got lumps in her breast, then the lumps is cancerous then the whole breast gotta be remove, not only that, scarly her womb also got thing then whole womb remove. see whether got ppl want her anot.. freak
hmm. but mine is harmless will not turn to cancerous de.. haha
Then if it is a guy, hope he become eunuch ba.. haha.. ok lah, I don't wanna so bad curse ppl lah, I must go freshen my breath liao.. I like very fierece hor? my mum called me Lady cui
from da chang jin this is because lady cui is fierce and wicked however I'm fierce but not wicked.. haha. but at the later part, lady cui died in a tragic death. ya, wicked people will die in a tragic death.. but not really, good people die in tragic death is beacuse is happen bad luck ma.torn